Fired.

So, I got fired today.

It was kind of my fault and I accept responsibility for it, but overall I think the whole situation was a huge misunderstanding.

You see my organization does a lot of work for the Lions Club in National City(more like 95% of the admin work) and one of my friends was Miss National City 2007 for the Lions. She had told me that she needed community service hours to take care of a ticket that she got last year and that she needed to write up something so that the head of the Miss National City Pageant could sign it for her. Well, she then wanted to know how our organization wrote our community service letter and without thinking about it I showed her a template of our letter and told her to just fix it up for the lions, send it to the person in charge and handle it from there.

Well, I did not think that my friend would copy verbatim what I had showed her or that the person in charge of the pageant would forward the info to my boss for approval.

My mistake for having faith in the intelligence of people.

So, my boss accused me of writing fraudulent community service letters and I got fired.

Mind you, my boss is an idiot. She really is. I tried to explain to her the circumstances of the letter and the emails and it was like talking to a brick wall.

Also, she is one of the most dishonest, back stabbing women I have ever met in my life and she is defrauding the organization of money among other things. But I am not gonna stoop to her level. I am sure KARMA will get to her someday.

As for me, I am going to UCLA at the end of July so this just spells VACATION BABY!!!

=)

Perhaps things were meant to be this way.

So. Somehow I am going to UCLA.

I think overall UCLA was the best choice. I really get to start fresh and live the true college experience.
If you think about it, I don't have a boyfriend, I can rent my car to someone saving me more money on the car payment and gas. I can still come back home every weekend.

I'm gonna be living in the dorms and I can use my financial aid to pay for it every quarter.

I'm also gonna get an on-campus job. Probably doing something clerical.
I don't know what I'm gonna do about my notary business. I won't have a car in LA so maybe people on campus can use a notary.

I'm gonna need to fix my business cards before I go and update my website ...

Overall, I feel really good about this decision. Nervous too, but that's natural.

Cheers to the future.

Crash and burn

Right now I feel like my entire body is ready to just give up.

I am so stressed right now its unbelievable.
As I write this blog, I can feel the tears coming down my cheek, but I know that now is not the time to crash and burn.

I have so much work to do, and so much to think about.

I feel like my whole world is crumbling again. I don't know what to do.
I got accepted to UCLA, and I am just so confused right now. I have mixed feelings about it and I feel like I am being pulled in two directions and I don't know what to do.

I really can't explain how I am feeling to anyone because I know I will only receive bias explanations and answers and it will only make me more confused.

I just wish that I hadn't worked from 7am-6pm today, and I wish that those damn assignments were not due tomorrow, and that the stupid political science exam was on Thursday instead of tomorrow and that I didn't have to make major decisions for my future by Friday! Oh did I mention that the golf tournament I have been working on for months also just happens to be this Friday? Yeah, my life feels pretty shitty right now.

All this shit wont disappear.

Its times like these that I feel as though maybe a fresh start in life isn't such a bad idea.

Joy ride

Last Saturday I went to Little Tokyo in Los Angeles with my two best friends.

It was funny, because we had made the trip to L.A. specifically to visit UCLA.

Yeah...we never made it there.

I wanted to visit UCLA because I am not sure if I really want to settle for UCSD. When I walk around UCSD it makes me feel like I am in prison or something. UCSD is so gray, and ugly. Barely any color. I am not sure if I am going to be able to function there.

So...as I wait for my letter of acceptance (or denial) from UCLA, I figured it would be a good idea to visit the campus. Plus, it would be fun to tour L.A.

We had planned the entire day, we would go to Little Tokyo, China Town, THEN to UCLA and make it back in time for dinner. =)

Well, we arrived at Little Tokyo at 10AM...and...we got hooked! Little Tokyo was so much fun that it was really hard to leave. Plus, we had paid $6.50 for parking the entire day...so we being so cheap decided to just head home after Little Tokyo.

But! on the bright side, this means we will be making another trip up north to visit China Town, and UCLA.

I am looking forward to it ^_^

Accepted

So, I got my acceptance letter to UCSD a couple days ago....

For some reason I am not as happy as I thought I would be. I mean I have been working to transfer to this university for two years. Most people who want to transfer have been in community college for 3 years and above preparing. I really worked my ass off to get that acceptance.

Dammit.

Maybe its because I am really stressed out right now. My stupid financial aid hasn't shown up yet and I am in major debt. (Not really - like $700.00) and the bills keep coming! Not to mention that I have to find a new job in May. I might even have to find two jobs to cover all my monthly expenses(rent, utilities, car, gas, etc). As soon as I get my financial aid I am going to pay off alot of stuff and get myself out of this shit hole that I'm in.

Every day I am checking that mailbox, hoping, wishing that my financial aid check (& scholarship money) have arrived. But, nothing but bills so far!

Fmylife.

I don't know....

I am pretty sure at this point in my life I don't want to start a relationship with someone.

Relationships take to much time and energy. After a while they are just no fun.

or....maybe that just applies to me and all my past relationships.

I dont know.
I suck.

I love to hang out with my friends so I guess its not a complete loss....
Makes me wonder though...why do we seek relationships?
Do we fear loss?
Do we need someone who can focus on us and tell us how special we are?

Isn't that what friends are for? Other than our physiological needs, do we really need someone else?

I am back!

Wow! I haven't written anything in a long time I can't believe it.

My life has been so ...oh what's the word...unexpected.
So much has happened I am not sure where to start...

I was reading through some of my old posts and realized how childish they must of made me sound.
So yes, I deleted them. I know, I know...but in a way its almost symbolic. It feels like I let go of the old me because I finally feel like I have found a new way to think about the world and my place in it.

College has proven to be an amazing experience. I didn't think I would be happy with my community college life, but I realized that it was probably for the best. Don't get the wrong idea, I haven't been partying or anything like that. Mostly its been work, school, sleep, and the occasional hang out with some old friends.

I know it seems like a dull life but I probably wouldn't want it any other way.

I am completely independent and I am loving it. I work for myself, and I am working toward something better.